Books need friends, just like lonely rock stars, mathematical geniuses and losers do. Maybe more. Stars, geniuses and losers can all swap roles if they get bored, but a book lives and dies a book, and without friends books now die rather quickly.

To be this book’s friend, don’t be shy:

  1. Quote from it (with attribution),
  2. Ask your bookstore to carry it,
  3. Give it to self-loathing and militantly happy friends alike, and
  4. Post encouraging reviews of it on blogs and booksellers’ websites.

To be this book’s friend-with-privileges:

  1. Turn it face up (or out) in bookstores if all they’re showing is the spine.
  2. Leave it the bathroom of an institution devoted to intermittent self-loathing, like a university or barracks.
  3. Wear its insignia proudly on a product from our store.

To be this book’s best best friend:

  1. Become a celebrity and say it’s your favorite
  2. Get it on Oprah.